I wish I had something other to blog about than personal crap, but I’m doing it again… yesterday was just a shitty day… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m depressed, anxious, lonely, feeling helpless all the time. The stress and sadness has gotten to the point where I’m physically ill. I don’t know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to in my situation. I keep trying to convince myself things will get better, but I just truly believe that they won’t, and that we’ll just continue to struggle and struggle and I’ll never move forward. Really, though, I shouldn’t be… because I know I will make myself a better person, but it’s just a matter of time, and what the people in play (mostly my parents) are going to do that will stop me. I’m just tired of coming home and hearing more bad news, that X utility is getting cut off, or we can’t pay Y bill. I’m sick of my dad being an asshole all the time because he’s such a fuck-up. I’m sick of being in a situation I can’t get out of. I’m sick of everything!

Cox is fucking at it again. I might get disconnected (yet again, but maybe for the last time) in the next couple of days. They told us last week that we only owe $43, then suddenly we owe them $180 (Probably an unexpected billing cycle, but I don’t understand why it’s so high!)… Fucking ridiculous, their bills are extremely confusing, they made mistakes on us before, they charge WAY too much too. Also, I hate how they ALWAYS cut you off at midnight, and that they won’t say WHEN they’re cutting me off. Unbelievable.